What is the future? Is it simply time that hasn’t passed yet, or is it a state of mind we haven’t entered yet? I think, for most of us, the future holds the promise that we will become the perfect versions of ourselves that we always imagined. Wether you imagine yourself living in an affluent suburb with a two car garage and a swimming pool, or as a Williamsburg, Brooklyn based graphic designer/indie band rocker/Urban Outfitters enthusiast, there is only one thing that can be promised if we leave everything up to time and fate: repressed (or not so repressed) anger. And a lot of it.
I am extremely guilty of future-longing, even though I see it’s detriments. But the fact of the matter is, the present moment is unsatisfying. High school can feel like long walk in a carnival funhouse. Every image of yourself is distorted and awkward, but yet you figure thats just who you are, because you have never seen a regular mirror. Every day gets more disorienting.
A couple of weeks ago, I ran into one of my mother’s friends in a sandwich shop. We proceeded to go through the motions of the compulsory yet excruciating ‘stop-and-chat’ (small talk is rarely enjoyable for either party, let’s face it.) We talked for about a minute, and she told me to make sure I ‘enjoyed high school’ because it was ‘the best years of my life.’
I was very confused.
I’m not saying I dislike my life at the present moment, although it is virtually impossible for an individual to judge the success of his/her life objectively. But the life of the high schooler is one of rigid routine. We go from class to class to whatever our cute extra curriculars are to home to more of the same. Maybe my Mom’s friend misses the security of routine. Or maybe this really is as good as it gets. Who knows.
Adults will say “don’t wish your life away, enjoy being a kid, ect.” First of all, looking towards the future is barely wishing life away, it is the desire to have life begin. And as for enjoying being a ‘kid,’ well, there is simply too much sisyphean busywork that just MUST be done for there to be time to play a rousing game of backyard football with Greg Peter and Bobby.
The present is the first step in intellectual awakening, certainly not the last and hopefully not the best. Rejecting the present is useless,though, because the future will become the present, and then it will be ignored. To be constantly looking forward is a detriment, but to be looking nowhere is worse. It’s probably best to not think about it at all, and in the words of Matthew McConaughey, just keep l-i-v-i-n.
i like this a lot
I seriously loved this post-especially the brady bunch and dazed and confused references. you should write articles like this for a magazine, seriously!!
i read this again and decided i really liked it again. on one hand, it made me happy for right now. on the other hand, it’s gonna suck really hard to reach that point in my life where i’m sure it’s not gonna get any better. for now, it’s a comforting thing to have the rest of our lives to look forward to. and as for routine, well, there is a certain comfort in it and (you know me, i’m obsessive) i don’t think we could be completely happy without any day-to-day rhythm, even though it almost always reaches a point where it feels oppressive. if i were to guess, i would say that, for the rest of my life, i won’t last for a very long time without adapting to some form of routine, even inadvertently. we’re creatures of habit; it’s not our fault.